mercoledì 8 dicembre 2010

Festa di compleanno: istruzioni per l'uso.

Tra 2 giorni e' il compleanno di Benedetta, 5 anni. La grande festa sara' quella in famiglia, tra di noi. I tuoi fratelli stanno preparando cartelloni e disegni e io preparero' la tua cena e il tuo dolce preferito. [pensavo anche di metterti un cavallino in miniatura sulla torta, vediamo come viene...]. Papa' sta pensando ad un dettaglio speciale, solo per te!
Ma poi, come ogni bambina, aspetti di festeggiare questo giorno importante con i tuoi piccoli amici. Ho cercato dei suggerimenti per creare una bella festa in cui tutti si divertono ma senza esagerare nelle attese e, soprattutto, senza alimentare attese ancora piu' grandi per l'anno dopo...la festa e' stare insieme, circondarti di canzoni, scherzi, risate, tante extra attenzioni, parole speciali per dimostarti nel giorno in cui sei nata che noi ti vogliamo bene e questo e' quello che conta.

Note di esperienza:
- durante l'anno annoto quello che veramente piace ai miei figli, in modo da essere pronta quando arriva il compleanno di ognuno (risparmio tempo e soldi);
- il regalo di compleanno e' un regalo atteso che aiuta anche a costruire la pazienza;
- se gli invitati alla festa sono i miei figli, chiedo di preparare il biglietto di auguri, di pensare cosa piace al festeggiato scegliendo tra libri, materiale di arte e giochi in scatola (1/7 anni).
- il festeggiato e' la persona che riceve la festa. I protagonisti non sono i regali.
- un segno di ringraziamento per quello che il festeggiato ha ricevuto, con un disegno, con un abbraccio, con un biglietto fatto a mano. Ai bambini piace dimostrare la propria gratitudine e questa e' una buona occasione per viverla.

Parlando con altre mamme:

* We cook their requested favourites for our family dinner. For children’s parties we always tried to keep numbers down- things just get wild with big groups. We’d let the kids invite the closest buddies.  We often organized a road hockey game, or some other physical activity. Or we would just go to public swimming - sometimes supervising the guests - sometimes inviting the parents to join us. We’d have cake at home, either before or after the outing. I’d pick them up at lunch hour for a treat, and have an outing. In good weather you could take kids out on a picnic to the local park. With my daughter - we did a craft - like candle making for example – and had cake. Most of the time I’d just have cake and refreshments as the food component, rather than trying to feed people a meal.

* In our family, the whole family, except the birthday person, decorates the kitchen with streamers and balloons the night before. Someone makes a big poster, usually with humorous drawings about the interests and talents of the one being celebrated. We also take an area of the kitchen and decorate it with photographs and paraphenalia that speak about the interests, skills, hobbies, joys and achievements of the one being honored. One year for our toddler, there were diapers, baby bottles, favorite stuffed animals and toys. For our teenager there would be sports equipment, favorite Cds, books, DVDs and pictures. This “tableau” of honor has become quite a surprise and treat for the birthday person. It really helps each family member to think about the the special qualities of the birthday person and honor their uniqueness. All these little things added together make for a very special day in our house.

* For all the birthdays in our home, we always decorate with a homemade sign with the person's name and age written in big letters in a banner (the banner is several pages of paper taped together) (sometimes letters/numbers are decorated by mom or other siblings), which we hang on a wooden beam at the edge of our kitchen. We put up balloons and other decorations around the kitchen. We have the sign up the night before (either the actual birthday or the day of the party), so that when the birthday person gets up in the morning, he/she sees the decorations first thing. We keep at least the sign up for a couple of weeks afterwards, and anyone who comes in to visit then knows about the recent birthday and can congratulate the person.

* The night before one of our children's birthdays my husband and I sit and make the birthday card. We play kindergarten as we cut, glue and color our child's favourite things onto our homemade card. For the little ones we draw pictures of things they can now do: make bed, get dressed, brush teeth. For the older ones we write encouraging words of how they have grown in virtue: generous with toys, do homework without being asked, do chores well without complaining. The next day all the kids know to come onto our bed to watch the birthday girl/boy open his or her gifts. Usually, the kids all bring their little gift bags which they have prepared on their own, with their own marbles, polly pockets, hockey cards or stickers to give. That night I cook whatever the birthday boy/girl wants.and the weekend before/after we have brunch after mass with all their cousins, aunts, uncles and their grandparents. The kids look forward to all these customs which have been created by us, almost by accident. It makes birthdays special for them. And they look forward to these traditions year after year.

* Since my children were small, we have always had a birthday dinner (their favourite), cake, and for the birthday person, we go around the table and each person says something special about the birthday person. It has always been a good way to show love and to make the person feel special on their day!

* As a family, we cherish birthdays by celebrating with breakfast served in bed.  The whole family gets up early to prepare a special breakfast. We parade to the bedroom singing "Happy Birthday".  We take a photo of all the gang.  Usually, a sibling stays with the birthday boy or girl to share the feast and keep them company. We also, have a party with their friends and later a meal (with Grandparents) if we can swing it!

* We always celebrate the Sunday before the big day. We have a special dinner with just family (and local extended family) with cake and a treasure hunt. Sometimes we have a special event for the day, like a fall walk at a provincial park. Mainly it's about family. We also try to help the kids remember that the focus is not the presents (to avoid the setup for a fall from their own expectations) but about God and family and them on their day.

* Our children always enjoyed crafts so their birthday party included this activity.

* We have only girls in my family. We do many things on their birthday, but one special thing I'll mention is that my husband presents the birthdayi girl with a bouquet of flowers. It means so much to them, no matter what their age.

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